Chapter 12: No More Dreams These Days
December 21st, 2009
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"There is a certain kind of dream I have. It always starts like every other dream. Typical stuff: forgotten school work, walking through exaggerated settings, talking with exaggerated versions of the people I know... But at some point, I do something - it's never clear what - that just ruins everything. I make some mistake that completely alters my life. The feeling is horrible. It's like having every inch of you pulled inward by a gentle breath that never yields. The world seems to speed past me in a blur, though each moment contains years of torture. That weight on me feels so surreal and foreign that I actually realize I'm dreaming. I begin to call out to myself, 'Please wake up! Please!' When I do, I'm so thankful to have the terrible pressure relieved. It makes me realize how bad things could get."
"They could get pretty bad."
"I'm so sorry."
The truth
is hard to know
You need to
want it told
You see
I can't believe
that something good
could come to me
Too late
I am on stage
I watch my mistakes
made as I'm made
And now
I feel the crowd
all watching me
head towards the ground
The breeze
drifts through the screen
I watch my machine
like I'm seventeen
Then I awoke
The message unfolds
I know what I know
about the cold
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